Myth of LCM’s “God’s Will”: Destroyed

Acts 17:28
28 for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’

Matthew 19
21 Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

Colossians 2
10 and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority;


By these verses we can see how and what we are in Jesus, we are COMPLETE. Relationship with Jesus is First.

So stop and think about this for a moment.

Do we need a GF or BF?

Do we need a Husband or Wife?

Or is it our choice?

if we turn out Bibles on I Corinthians 7

That is where i believe we can find the will of God in these times about marriage.


As unspiritual as this may sound Paul never suggested that we should pray about who God wants us to marry. Ironically, the question Paul asked was not, “Who should you marry?,” but, “Should you marry at all?” If I could sum up Paul’s argument in common vernacular, he said, “Here’s the deal. If you are single you can better serve the Lord, but you will have to live with the sexual frustration that accompanies the celibate life. If you are married, you will be sexually fulfilled, but your spouse will be a distraction from serving the Lord. Oh yeah, if you choose to marry you cannot divorce. It’s until death do you part. There’s the pros and cons, now make your choice.” He even gave his own opinion on the matter. His wise advice was based on spiritual expediency (I Corinthians 7:20-21, 28, 29-31, 32, 40, exemplified and summarized in verse 35).

Paul never appealed to prayer, nor did he tell the Corinthians to let the Lord make their decision for them. He never hinted at the notion of soul mates, nor did he teach that God will confirm for us who we are supposed to marry. Why? It’s because the concepts of soul mates and divine confirmations are mere inventions of Western romanticism mixed with spiritual aspirations, not Biblical teaching.

The following is a list of the Biblical principles (with verse numbers) set forth by Paul concerning our choice to marry, and by implication our choice concerning who to marry:

1. Do what is good and profitable (1, 8, 26)
2. Do that which leads to peace (15)
3. Do what helps you best keep God’s commandments (19)
4. Do what causes the least trouble (28)
5. Do what makes the best use of time (29)
6. Do what makes you most free of external concerns (33)
7. Do that which leads to undistracted devotion to Christ (35)
8. Do what promotes personal happiness (40)

Pay particular notice to the following verses:

■ “concerning virgins…we have received no command of the Lord” (I Corinthians 7:25).

■ “if you marry you have not sinned” (I Corinthians 7:28).

■ “let him do what he wishes” (I Corinthians 7:36).

■ “she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes” (I Corinthians 7:39).

These verses make it clear that the choice to marry, and the choice of who to marry are personal choices, not something God has predetermined.

The Only Qualifier

We are not obliged to marry at all, yet alone marry a particular individual. As Paul declared, we can marry whom we wish, so long as they are in the Lord (I Corinthians 7:39). That is his only qualifier. So not only do we fail to find the idea of soul mates in this passage, but the perceived method of finding our mate (receiving signs from God) is necessarily nullified.

From the Biblical data we must conclude that while God cares about what type of person we marry, He does not have a specific will on who it is that we marry. As long as the individual falls within the sphere of certain guidelines He has set forth in His Word concerning mate selection, the choice on who to marry is up to us.

Follow Jesus and be COMPLETE in Him first if you fall in love with a person, follow His guidelines.

God has set forth some general guidelines in His Word concerning marriage and mate-selection, but has given us the freedom to choose who we marry within those guidelines. So long as our mate selection is within the moral parameters of Scripture and informed by wisdom, spiritual expediency, and in consideration of personal preferences, we can be assured that our choice is in the will of God.

In our lifetime we will meet several individuals with whom we could establish a life-long, meaningful, and happy marriage, all of whom would be pleasing to God. If, when, and who we marry is a decision God has left to us to make in a responsible and wise manner.

With Scripture as our guide we must confess that there is no room at the inn for soul mates. Reason and experience follow suit in posting their own “no vacancies” sign. The myth of the divine matchmaker is just one more Christian fairytale that’s made its way into mainstream Christian culture. As appealing as the myth may be to our romantic and spiritual nature, Scripture, not popular belief or fairy tale, must be our guide for mate selection.


“Basta sakin bro, I don’t trust my subjective experience. Kaya ang term na tatanungin si God?. Mahirap yun. Subjective yun. Kailangan pa natin ivalidate sa scriptures yung experiences na yun. So balik parin sa guidelines ni Lord from the Bible.” — Arnold Gamboa, Christian Writer, Live the Life Magazine…

II – Practical Applications

A reason: Why i think the idea of God Chooses the BEST FOR Us who to Marry is Cruel:

1. A Non-Christian couple decided to accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour the couple since then is sincere in their walk in Christ for the rest of their remaining lives.Lets try to analyze this with both beliefs…
The Subjective “God Chooses the BEST FOR YOU” Belief:

The two were not christians yet when they got married so di naman nila inask kay God ang best para sa kanila, pano yan? So hindi special ang relationship nila? Till death do us part yung hindi special at best para kay God? 2nd best at hindi special pagtyatyagaan nila isat isa? di ba cruel?

Be the Best/Right One and Anyone who Chooses you will be Blessed:

Syempre lahat ng Will ni God sa buhay magasawa or the guidelines ay gagawin na nila then magiging best na sila para sa isat isa.

2. There is a Christian Couple, but one is BAOG. Are we gonna be quick to judge that God was against that marriage? If YES I might as well tell all those people who has this problem that they are not “God’s Will”… *thumbsdown*

Other Thoughts:

1. Many misunderstand the difference between a description and a prescription. The former simply describes the way things are; the latter prescribes the way things should be. It is a mistake to extrapolate a prescription from mere description (in philosophy this is called the is-ought fallacy). There are many historical happenings recorded/described in the Bible that we should not, or need not do. The only way we are justified in mimicking some act as recorded in Scripture is if Scripture itself makes it clear that the action described is being described for prescriptive reasons. If the Bible is not clear that we ought to mimic the acts described, or expect the results someone else received, we are not justified in concluding that we are. If we do not carefully distinguish between the descriptive and prescriptive aspects of Scripture we will find ourselves creating doctrines and practices that are foreign to the very text from which they are supposedly derived.

2. This is not to say that prayer has no role in mate selection. Indeed, prayer is essential in the process. What this is to say is that the reason for which we pray during the mate selection process is often uninformed by Scripture. Usually we pray so God can tell us whether or not (s)he is “the one.” This sort of prayer finds no basis in Scripture. Scripture does advocate praying for wisdom (James 1:5), however, and wisdom is essential in the mate selection process.

3. To some, this last criteria may sound the most “unspiritual” because they have this sadomasochistic view of God’s will. For them God’s will must always be opposed to their will. If they are attracted to blondes God’s will, for them, must surely be a brunette. If they want somebody who is really “hot,” God must want them to marry someone they consider a little on the ugly side. This is a distorted picture of God’s will. God’s will is not that we are miserable, or that we never get what we want, but that we receive the desires of our heart so long as they are within His moral perimeters. Clearly there is nothing immoral about preferring brunettes to blondes!

Love Is A Choice

Why does the Bible instruct us to love one another over and over again? Because God knows, we are the only one who can make the “choice” to Love, everday of our lives!

We remember well the days of thinking that love was a “feeling”! Its just something that happens to you!

That “feeling” you get, is because someone has CHOSEN to love you!

There is nothing magical about love. All the romance books and movies lead us all to believe that love is this special thing that only the “lucky” seem to have. Wrong…everybody is entitled to love.

The day we married, our Pastor said “Each and every day you must wake up and choose to be married”. Getting married does not mean everything will now take care of itself, because after all, we are now married. However, it is not so much work that it is a burden either.
When we choose to love our mates we are choosing to accept this person as another one of God’s children, and the mate with which to spend our lifetime with.

Choosing to love means:

# I choose to Love my husband/wife
# I choose to be patient with my mate
# I choose to be kind to my mate
# I choose to please my mate
# I choose to forgive my mate
# I choose to honor my mate
# I choose to trust my mate
# I choose to be understanding to my mate
# I choose to grow with my mate
# I choose to encourage my mate
# I choose to help my mate
# I choose to be truthful to my mate
# I choose to be faithful to my mate
# I choose to be unselfish with my mate
# I choose to be hopeful with my mate
# I choose to speak in love to my mate
# I choose to be my spouse’s mate the rest of my life!

What “Choice” have you made today?

Even if you are troubled in your marriage or your partner is not responding as you would like, we must still make the choice first in ourselves. Do not let your heart become hardend. Ask God for the strength for you to choose to “love” today. Expecting nothing in return, open your heart to the gift of Love.

I can confidently say that my choice of a life partner’s character that is Biblical[e.g. fellow Christian, mabait, magaling humawak ng pera sino kaya yun? :D] and my preference[e.g. biblical, maganda, maganda, maganda si…] which also I can confidently say that is Godly, is inclined with God’s Will.

I trust God that’s why I follow His Will by His grace.

So I will never believe that God is ever, EVER, against our relationship. Wisdom and grace is what we Christians should pray for so we can follow the guidelines set forth by Scriptures and be wise in choosing.

Another insight:

..ang will ni God ay pumili ka ng asawa based on His guidelines at di porket Christian ka na tama yung pinili mo. Si God parin ang magrereveal[sa Bible] sayo kung ano yung mga guidelines na yun.its not yung tao yung pinagpray mo kundi yung guidance[Wisdom] nya na makapili ka ng tama.
Maricris Buela, Worship Leader FOG.

Everything is impossible WITHOUT God’s grace.

God’s wisdom = God’s Glory.

Man’s Experience = SUBJECTIVE.

Acts 17:28
for in Him we live and move and exist, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we also are His children.’

URL Links:

joe_higashi’s PEX posts:

Born Again Christians on Love

Other Useful Links:

Myth of the Divine Matchmaker


1 Comment »

  1. Pre kung nasa Pinas ka atend ka dito.

    Attend iblog, the Philippines’ 1st Blogging Summit!
    See ya there!!!!
    John the Atheist

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